5/14/13
I woke up to 10 messages on my answering machine, the phone ringing, and my husband pulling into the driveway home from work at mid morning. I knew right off the bat that something was wrong. Although a few minutes earlier, in and out of my morning sleep, I remember praying for this glorious sunny day and thanking God for it.
My husband comes in the door with a frazzled look on his face. I hang up the phone with his secretary leaving a phone number and asking if Todd arrived yet. "What is going on?" I asked. Turns out that our home study agency sent us the wrong home study, the un-revised version last Thursday.
Upon it's arrival I scanned the report and noticed that there were two dates incorrect. I called the agency and they e-mailed me the corrected pages. Well, this was the first clue that something was wrong. You see, our adoption agency (different from our home study people) also made suggestions for alterations in the home study of which I never did see. So when I scanned the report, I didn't know what additions were or were not included from the other agency. With the all clear from the home study agency, I sent the home study in the mail last Friday to it's next destination.
Then I get this wake up call this morning to hear that the home study was the wrong one! Our adoption agency caught it that their revisions weren't included in the copy they received. Oh dear. Now it is already in someone else's hands and on someone else's desk. So the roundy-rounds of talking and trying to mend the mistake of the home study agency begins. Our home study caseworker passed our case to the supervisor who called the appropriate folks to ask "what do we do now?"
In the meanwhile the revised edition was e-mailed to Todd and I. We read it, and for the first time saw the additions from our adoption agency. There were still a few corrections that we sent back again and continued with e-mails and phone calls to see how to correct this issue.
AND in the meanwhile, two of the kids are getting themselves ready to leave for their library time with grandma, and my older son, Roosky is frantic because his goldfish is sinking with white spots all over him.
Wow what a day. It wasn't the biggest deal in the world or major terrible news, but needed immediate attention, and stressful non-the-less.
My husband returned to work, the agencies were taking care of things, we did what we could do, and now it was off to Wal-mart to get ick remedy for the goldfish! I have to say that I did browse the de-wrinkle creams and facials thinking how this stress must be adding years to my skin! The girls browsed the nail polish and although I couldn't put myself to buy a $12.00 jar of 4 oz. of miracle skin cream, I did spurge on a whooping $2.49 for a 1/2 gallon of bubble bath!
Honestly, through the stress, I remembered how my day started - with the prayer thanking God for this day of glorious sunshine. Just because glitches come about and people make mistakes, my God never does and He is always worthy of thanks. He never rests and nothing is ever too far out of His reach. He is in control and I just have to remind myself of that. It's not He that pulls back from me, but me from Him. So when times are tough, God didn't go anywhere, my trust lingered away from His strength and onto my own shoulders. He is steady and unchanging and I will rest easy, even a crazy day like today, and count on Him.
I could have let this day be a total bummer and frustrate the be-gee-bers out of me, but God continues to tell me that in my weakness He is there as my strength. I can be a control freak and quite an organizer/ planner type, but God tells me that "He's got this" and I need to chill. So I'm letting it go, not getting hyper-upset over it, and you know what? It'll all be fine. No worries, no wrinkles!
On the way to Wal-mart with the kids in the car, this song came on the radio. The truth of the lyrics really hit my heart:
"When I am weak your strong, you meet me here
When I'm on my knees, on my knees Oh, it starts with me
Why do I try to work outside of you?
Knocking down doors I should be going through
But I'm so tired, I'm so tired
You take my burdens off of my shoulders...
Deut. 32:4 " He is the Rock, His works are perfect, and all His ways are just. A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is He."
What could I do to leave a legacy?
How can I speak with authority
When I can't see you, I can't see you
How can I know the dreams you have for me?
How can I believe beyond what I have seen?
When I can't hear you, I can't feel you now
No, no, no
(Chorus)
You're my revival song, you start where I belong
On my knees, on my knees
When I am weak or strong you meet me here
When I'm on my knees, on my knees
Oh, it starts with me
Why do I try to work outside of you?
Knocking down doors I should be going through
But I'm so tired, I'm so tired
You take my burdens off of my shoulders
You break the lies that hold me back
I'm not sure enough
(Chorus)
I really wanna change the world
I really wanna save your soul
But I know revival's got to start with me
I really wanna change the world
I really wanna save your soul
But I know revival's got to start with me
(Chorus)
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