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Trying Not To Look

I'm trying not to look at the blog timeline that on June 24th, 2013 our dossier was mailed off to our adoption agency.  What a day of celebration and relief that was to have all the paperwork completed and out of our hands.  And now, it's been almost a year.....

I'm trying not to look that this week our home study expires and we will have to start our paper work process all over again....yes, allllll over again.  Doctor appointments for clear bills of health, bank statements, house inspections, fingerprinting.... more costs!

I'm trying not to look that my baby who was a tad older than 2 when we started this process is now weeks away from turning 4.

I'm trying not to look at the stack of luggage and travel supplies in my closet just waiting to be put to use.

I'm not going to mention our cute little count down calendar has been full for months now and then after moving to adding paper chain links, that I just stuffed it all in the cabinet....trying not to look at it.

Can I even say that I don't know what week we are on now?

Ok, so I just looked at the calendar and I had stopped numbering the weeks at week 40.

This is tough...

 It'd be one thing if going into this we were told to hold tight for 2-3 years, but it's another thing when going into this that the expected time-frame was at max 12 months from start to home.  That's a kicker.

I know the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken,  for he is right beside me. psalm 16:8

Chanting that over and over to myself....

And then it hits me that yes, these are trying days, weeks, months, and turning into years that we are longing for our children to come home to us.  Our "be patient" and "it will happen in His timing" and "it must be soon" bucket of encouraging words and thoughts from others is full and we very, very much love and appreciate the prayers and support!  After I think about our 'boo-hoos' and have a little 'moment' then I really have to see how absolutely unfocused that just makes me.  

Focusing My Thoughts!  Philippians 4:8 "Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable.  Think about things that are excellent and worth of praise." 

If I really want to put this waiting into perspective, I think of and pray for the other side of this story.  Though we wait for a joyous day of meeting the children and bringing them home, there is a flip side to that joy that is covered in hardship, tragedy, and much heart break. I have been praying deeply lately for the children's parents and first family.  Whether their mother and/or father is alive, sick, or has passed away the heartache there is immense.  I put into perspective the waiting that we are going through to the mourning of the family and I feel foolish to be complaining or calling the wait agony.  

Please pray for us to keep our focus on God's plans, not our own, and for the peace that comes with that step of faith.  Pray even more for the families and children of Ethiopia.  Especially and specifically mention in prayer the birth parents of Tarik and Elsa (the names we chose for the two we are adopting).  Lift them up to the Lord asking that He would surround them with hope and an undeniable feeling of peace knowing that the children will be cared for and loved.  Thank you so very, very much.  




 




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