Encourage One Another

In preparing for adoption, one area that needs attention in our family is that of our biological children and the changes they will encounter.  We are gearing them up for their new siblings including the joys and challenges that comes with a new addition to the family.  Just like when we bring a newborn sibling home from the hospital, there are changes in the family dynamics.  We expect this change when bringing home their new siblings from Ethiopia!  Some things that we have found to help our family adjust to a new baby is to be sure we are geared up in the area of teamwork!  

The kids need to feel confident and secure in the fact that we are all here for each other, to encourage one another, to help each other, and to listen to each other when we need to talk, or just play with someone.  It's no secret that with a home schooling family of four kids, and more on the way, that mom isn't always available at the drop of a hat to serve iced tea on a silver platter.  We are building a large family and that takes teamwork not a supermom and spider man-dad.   

Here are a few team-building activities we do to concentrate on encouraging one another and being a team. 

1 Thessalonians 5:11 "Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing."

1.  Games: This is a simple game where we dropped little pom-pom balls from the chair and tried to get them into a narrow mouth jar.  We each started out with 10 balls and then kept track of how many landed in the jar.  Even when there is competition, we are teaching the kids to encourage one another.  I had to say things to the kids like, "Don't cheer where someone misses.  Tell them, 'Good try! You can do it!'" and "Remember not to brag that you won, tell the other kids that it was a fun game." or "How did you feel when sissy told you   that you were doing great?"   I know this may seem simple, and it is, but little moments like this offer another practice session to how we should encourage one another.  Practice makes progress and practicing doesn't need to be a long and hard task.  Short and simple lessons, over and over, will make it stick to their hearts.    

Other short and easy competitive games are: Match-box car races, Ring-toss, or even board games like Candy Land.

2.  Group Projects: Another simple practice is to give the kids a group project to complete together.  In this case I gave the kids a puzzle to complete together.  The kids separated the task into jobs with the oldest matching the pieces together, the middle child worked on the outer pieces, and the youngest was in charge of sorting the pieces by color.  Teamwork with each child contributing to the task is the goal.  Can you tell they've done this before?  When we began using teamwork tasks, one kid would have naturally just taken over and let the littler ones watch.  That's not teamwork.  They have been guided and have practiced including each other and giving jobs so everyone is helping to get the job done. 

Another activity we use to practice teamwork is to give the kids a pile of art materials (papers, glue, paints, glitter, etc.) and ask them to all work together to make a college.  Surprisingly, sharing an art project can be very difficult for children.  They want to use their own ideas to make something they perceive as beautiful.  It is hard to compromise and incorporate others ideas into artwork.  This gives a perfect opportunity for mom or dad to guide the conversations, model for the kids kind words and phrases to say, and ask how they feel during the process. 

3.  Notes and Cards: Occasionally we have the kids write notes or cards to each other encouraging one another and saying something kind about another person.  This helps us to focus on the positive and the special qualities of each member of the family.  The kids really 'glow' when they read their notes from their siblings.            

4. Talking Phones : This activity followed the reading of a book about interrupting. We then made a chart to list the things good listeners do and don't.  I put questions on a strip of paper then put the paper strips in a bowl for the kids to draw out one question.  The questions were conversation starters like: What is  your favorite dinner? What do you like about yourself?  What is something that makes you sad?  What is something interesting that you have learned recently? Then the 'talker' had the telephone to talk into while the 'listener' had the giant ear icon to remind them to listen with interest and not interrupt.  To follow up the conversation we were working on the 'listener' asking clarifying questions to the 'talker.'  We are still practicing this, but this activity has brought an awareness of our listening skills.  

Why is this activity important?  Well, being able to talk to someone in the family who is going to listen, be respectful, care, and show concern is important.  We want the kids to be able to share their simple thoughts like about their favorite dinner, but also their difficult thoughts and questions.  Opening communication and building trust is the goal.  

We use this CD to sing our bible verses.  It is one of our favorites.  Particularly we sing the song, "Encourage one another, and build each other up! Build each other up! Build each other up!  Encourage one another and build each other up! up, up, up, up!"  Track 2, Disk 2.  When I catch the kids beginning to tease or brag then I playfully sing this song to remind them to encourage one another!