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So Close Yet So Far Away. Week 11 Post Referral

Today was hilarious.  Just one of those days where it was laugh out loud, or just sink and cry.  

I was thinking about Ethiopia so much today that it was coming out my ears!!! No seriously. 

(Wearing these earrings today given to me by my friend, Alemitu, for my birthday.)

We have been waiting and praying for our next set of treasured paperwork to come to us via Fedex from Ethiopia.  We need these documents in order to continue forward with our adoption process of our little boy.  Until these are received, there is nothing we can do to get closer to bringing him home.  I stalk my FedEx account to see if it has been charged a shipping fee.  Every FedEx truck that we see out and about on the roads we (Ok, it's me.)  scream and say "come to our house!"  The kids get a kick out of it. 

THEN TODAY the FedEx Express truck pulls up to our driveway.  I glance at the door with that twinkle of hope that this time (after 5 gazillion times of looking out the door and hoping for the truck) the rumbling noise would actually be the prized delivery. I totally FREAK OUT!! I mean it! Jumping and yelling, "the FedEx truck is here!!" I was even dressed for it to come today!! How perfect.....until....the delivery man rounds the corner holding this:  





That is not the size of our big stack of papers! It's my essential oils kit. Why is that allowed??  Oh. So. Very. Bummed!  I even told the guy that I was disappointed in this delivery - with a smile that mustered deep from within.  It didn't help matters much.  He had no magic wand to turn back that moment and change an oils kit into documents from government officials in another country half way around the globe.  Hmphf.  Sigh.  Shoulders down.  

I came back in the house and....laughed. I just had to.  "Good one God!  That was funny! You really got me that time!  Did you see me freaking out and screaming?  Oh, you do have a sense of humor there.  You are....."  Ok, then that turned into a drop to the knees prayer of "please just send the papers!! Was I not specific?  I know I said, 'let the FedEx Truck come to my house,' but I was talking about the papers!!"  The kids really thought I had lost my mind. 

Is that called a tantrum? 

After a moment (or more), and a phone call to a friend, I realized what "Did you see that?" must have really looked like.  Yes, a tantrum.  Frustrated that I am not in control and things aren't following my timetable.  What am I thinking?  Step back.  Breath deep - and let it go!  This isn't all about me and my plans or what I am or 'am not' doing to make things happen. 

Today was a humorous reminder of these deep truths: 

God is ALL KNOWING.  God is ALL POWERFUL.  God is EVERYWHERE. God is LOVE.  And everything He does that I see or don't see is completely out of His deep, never-ending, LOVE for His children. These promises and truths I need to keep in the forefront of my mind.  I pray that HIS WILL be done and in HIS perfect timing - not mine.  not me, me, me. 

Zechariah 4:6 “This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit, says the Lord of hosts.”

"Zerubbabel was discouraged and thought that he could rebuild the walls of Jerusalem so God reminded him that it is not by human mind, strength, or intellect but by God’s Spirit.  If the world were sovereignly governed by the human will, mind, and strength, then total anarchy would result but thankfully, God is in control of all that happens, and so much so that not even a tiny sparrow falls to the ground without God’s knowing it or sovereignly allowing it (Matt 10:29)." - Jack Wellman

Matthew 10:29 "
Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father's care."



So although, in my own strength, I'd love to plan the agenda of the paperwork to arrive, court cases to be assigned, all obstacles to be removed so a lovely path to our boy can be smooth and easy - I must remember that by HIS POWER and Spirit, everything is just as it is intended to be in His master design.  

Isaiah 55:9 "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts higher than your thoughts."

(and apparently the FedEx deliveries are appointed in His timing too) ;)  

Hanging in there! Learning and praying all the way!!  Thanks for your continued prayers!!  


Erin 








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