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Adjusting to Home. What's 'Home"?



Many times in our first weeks home, I try to imagine what our little 'just-turned-two year old' thinks of this new world he was swept into?  For all his life he has been in an orphanage with peers to play with and adults who are the caregivers.  For all he knows, that is what adults do.  And thanks be to God, our son had wonderful, caring, and affectionate "Nannies" who did hug him, kiss him, feed him, play with him, and sing songs with him.  That care developed a huge place in his little mind to be able to trust adults and build relationships with them.  But how do you explain a family to little one who never has never known?  How do you say, "I am your mom" and expect that he even knows what that is?

Remember the movie, "Look Who's Talking" starring John Travolta as James, Kirstie Alley as Mollie, and Bruce Willis plays the voice of Mollie's son, Mikey?  The movie spans Mikey as a newborn baby through a young toddler. Although he wasn't very verbal outwardly to his mom and adults around him, he had this inner 'voice' (Bruce Willis) who would speak the thoughts of how a toddler may interpret the events going on in his little world.  Here's a YouTube clip: click here.  Super funny movie of the '80's.

I often wonder what Tarik is thinking. I mean, how am I supposed to believe that he knows that "mom" means "mom?"  For all he knows, that's just a name like Sally or Jessica.  Mostly he calls me "Nanny" and I'm ok with that since it means "care giver."  I'm glad that he considers me his care giver, but him to understand 'mom' will be a happy day.

There are so many new things to explore at home.  And what is 'home' anyway?  In the movie, "Look Who's Talking"  the little boy Mikey is telling a joke to another toddler.  Mikey says, "How many babies does it take to change a lightbulb?"  The little girl replies, "How many?" And Mikey's answer is, "What's a lightbulb?"

Tarik isn't interested in toys at this point.  For now there are enough cabinets to open, rooms to walk through, sandboxes, swings, bathtubs... You name it, it's new to him and worth exploring.  I tried to play cars with him and as we were sitting on the floor together with the "beep-beep" (yes, his first English word!) There was a little play gas station for the cars to fill up in this set.  I zoomed a car to the gas station to fill up.  Talking aloud I told Tarik how the car was filling up, "psssssssh" for fun play sound effects right?  Well, what's a gas station?  He hasn't seen that before.  He does know cars.  And the first time he was ever in a car seat was his ride from the airport to his home.  Yes, that's how much is very new to him.

So considering that he has never been in a car seat, never been in a store, never taken a bath (he was cleaned by showering off at the orphanage), never played in a sandbox, never had a birthday cake, never seen a white man.  Actually, he hadn't seen many men at all since the workers at the orphanage are all women.  It took him longer to adjust to daddy for this reason.  Thinking on these things, I am amazed at how well Tarik is doing with all the changes in being home.

With time, exploring, much love and care, this little guy is going to be just fine.  He shows his siblings so much affection and to daddy and me, "Nanny" too.  Hugs and snuggles are the absolute best.  Over and over in the day we thank God for this little blessing and for bringing him home to us.

Home and family will grow in his heart as Tarik already shows so much joy and happiness while being with us.  He sees each day that love is patient, love is kind, it is gentle and it is constant.  It's a beautiful thing to be apart of as our son learns the meanings of home and family and everyone in it!











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